Hey ‘Buffs, here at FilmBuff there has been lots of  talk about Eric Schaeffer and his approach to relationships in films versus real life.  If you aren’t up-to-date with the latest, check out 8 Dating Tips According to Eric Schaeffer and his collection of 5 Poignant Sex Scenes.

Today we have more treats with the star and director of the TV series I Can’t Believe I’m Still Single (available now on Hulu). Check out this reaction blog from a single male guest who went through a “date-coaching” session with Eric.

Do you think Eric is a good wing-man? Find out:
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Dater Details

Sex: Male
Age: 24
Occupation: Biz side in Entertainment Industry
Hometown: Queens, NY
Status: Single

Knowledge of Eric

Prior to meeting Eric, I knew very little about him or his work. I had seen a trailer and read a few articles about his most recent feature film After Fall, Winter.

Prior Dating Experiences

I would not classify my dating experiences in New York City as inherently positive or negative, rather, I would classify the process of finding someone suitable to date as trying.

Being a lifelong resident, there is an impersonal quality to this city that I’m always aware of, though I may be more desensitized than those that have come to this city more recently. That sense of detachment seems to pervade most interpersonal, causal relationships that I experience beyond the scope of the more normative sort in the formal setting of work and school. In fact, not having your guard up, or at least a condescending air of reservation, may come across as an offer to display all of your ‘eccentricities’ that may qualify you as ‘unique’. Frankly, I find most people have neither, so I’ve learned to be patient in any setting where the dissolution of the typical guarded social parlance is tacit.

Experience with Eric

I was with Eric at a bar by the name of Westside Tavern. With a goal of approaching a woman and a time frame of 45 minutes, I knew it was highly unlikely that I would actually do this. Not that approaching a woman is difficult, but achieving the desired effect is. I would describe my approach to the opposite sex as passive though measured. It was immediately apparent that Eric had a manner that did not rely on pretense; he was not crude, simply direct. Initially, he encouraged me to approach a woman who was wearing a fedora—I hate fedoras and by and large the people underneath them. I then began with an explanation of why I didn’t find her particularly attractive, so we began to wax hypothetic. He explained his manner and offered an example of his approach by ‘casually’ walking over to her to ‘get a closer look’. He then asked me to follow suit, and I told him it wouldn’t be necessary being that she would have to walk past us to get to the bathroom and that would present me with the opportunity to make eye contact. Within a few minutes she did exactly that, walking past us without eye-contact but looking back at us when she returned to her seat.

She seemed to be on her way out and I was far from smitten, but she did have prime position. She was seated next to a pretty girl at the bar. As she put on her jacket Eric and I walked over and took the seats she and her friend had vacated. Once there we continued to speak of our approach, and he waited for me to make a move, but I explained that it would be a waste of time, as the pair we’d saddled up to would be leaving shortly as well. Surely enough, she and her friend left within 10 minutes. When Eric asked me how I knew, I told him simply, that I saw her texting a contact over my shoulder that she was ‘still out, but almost done’.

She left and the prescribed 45 minutes expired soon thereafter, Eric and I, however, continued to speak. He began to talk about his memories as a basketball player and segued in to meeting Michael Jordan and other celebrity experiences. In other words, he was so engaged in the story that the direct manner that I’d sensed in him since we met for this experience totally dissipated and he seemed much more affable and approachable.

Final Thoughts on Eric as My Wingman

From the beginning, I knew Eric and I approached dating on completely different levels. Where his approach is direct, I tend to think less about dating and let the women approach me. While I enjoyed talking to Eric the entire time, I don’t see myself being any more direct or sharing his approach. However, for the record, it was near the end of our conversation when he was just telling me about his life that I could, as a fellow straight male, see any woman being interested in him.

I realize that I may not have been the ideal subject for this exercise as I believe you can only play with what the field gives you. But hey, Eric and I are both technically single so maybe neither of us have it right.